i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
