I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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