dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
