We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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