OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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