dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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