i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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