dude i'm inner monologue high
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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