Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
