when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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