If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
