my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
