I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
