Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
