did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
