I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
