I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
