so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
