Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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