all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
