Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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