I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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