I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
