If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
