Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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