...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
