Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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