I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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