Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You pole danced in your parka.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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