from now on my penis is your penis
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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