i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
