Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
