I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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