you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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