I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I FOUND THE LEGS
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
