But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
