hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
