i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
