Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
