put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
