Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body

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(973): View more from New Jersey

RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO

(908): View more from New Jersey

dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

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(213): View more from California

I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'

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(214): View more from Texas

Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.

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(530): View more from California

I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.

(1-530): View more from California

fuck. you.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.

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(313): View more from Michigan

sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework

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(425): View more from Washington

My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...

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(253): View more from Washington

So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.

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