he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
