I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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