Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
