My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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