And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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