Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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