I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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