just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
