Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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