Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize